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One of the first realizations I had as a primary family caregiver was that I couldn’t be the sole person my mom relied upon for care. I was burning out and knew nothing would change if I didn’t seek help. Assembling a care team for my mom took intention and creativity.

When I was desperate for caregiving answers, I turned to Google. Honestly, I didn’t even know which terms to search — I just knew I was drowning and needed help. While browsing, the first term I identified with was “sandwich generation.” I immediately latched on to this term, even before I self-identified as a family caregiver.

Learning that a loved one has a chronic illness can be heartbreaking. You may feel helpless as you watch your friend or family member struggle, unsure how to show support. What’s worse, your loved one may reject your help or become agitated with you for trying. So what can you do when all your efforts to brighten their day don’t work?